Colours of Invention

my future.

I have dreams of being big. dreams of being being extraordinary. of making a huge different in this world and leaving my mark. dreams of falling in love and having 2 children. of making music that changes peoples lives. of owning a home on the beach and waking to nothing but the sound of the sea. of becoming an expert on the piano and guitar so every time my heart sings i can outwardly express it.

I have big dreams and I am scared that they won’t be fulfilled. That i will wake at 40 and not know how i got there and why i didnt do anything to stop it. If i get really honest with myself and take a good look im not sure that im heading in that direction. Some days are on track and other days I am doing everything (subconsciously) to make that dream never reach existence.

And I have moments where i think whats the point of it all, then moments when i think it will all fall into my lap, moment where i feel super motivated, and moments where I just can’t be bothered. But as each day goes by, thats another day I could be taking actions to living the life i want. And so i take a good look and ask myself… have i practised my instrunments today, did i exersize, did i stick to my budget, did i stand up for myself in a particular relationship, did i write a song, did i call a friend to say hello. 

Torn between wanting a great lift and wondering whether it will be that great or if im just living in fantasy and shouldnt waste my time.

This moment can fly away in seconds, into the distance, and then here comes another one before it flies away too.

The future is anything i want it to be, now i need to choose wisely.

I think that miserable people always look like they are sucking on a lemon, they always look down, are usually always rushing, and get upset when things don’t go to plan.

Take your pain and use it. Use it to drive you forward. use it as your ambilical cord. Many great things have come out of hurt, pain and failure. People have changed the world by using their anger and frustration. Born out of madness have people ended wars. Don’t supress your manic. Find your release through creativity and inspire the world. Your pain is colourful and paints the streets and everyone you meet. Let it out. Let people hold it. Use your rainbow to find gold and lead others to it. Allow yourself to be completely fucking nuts.

What are you doing here?

I came to find myself

Did you find what you were looking for?

No, did you?

I got lost in this place and forgot that I was looking

Me too.